Before we start our weekly epitaph, does anyone else get annoyed when they say “supershow”? I think at this point the the brand extension is slowly dieing off. The “super shows” eliminates 70% of the WWE roster and we only see the same handful of top guys each week, this renders the draft pretty much useless.
Triple H starts the program and explains why Truth and Miz were fired, because of their words and actions from Night of Champions. Ziggs and Vickie come out to complain about guest host Hugh “Wolverine” Jackman interfering in Ziggs match last week. Seconds later Cody Rhodes hits the ring cuts a promo about Randy Orton bashing him with a ring bell on Smackdown.
Christian comes out to piss and moan to Hunter. Christian does his best impression of Sly Stallone from the movie F.I.S.T and attempts to organize the heels into filing a massive lawsuit against WWE. Captain Charisma being the selfish scumbag we all know and love tells Hunter he will forget the whole thing if he gets just one more match. Because HHH is snarky Hunter decides to book Christian against Cena (non-title), Orton on Friday and Sheamus at Hell In The Cell. While all this nonsense took place Dolph Ziggler has to face Zack Ryder while Cody has to defend the Intercontinental title in a 10-man battle royal. I blame Punk for all the wrestlers speaking their minds in these shoot style promos.
The first match of the night was the Intercontinental Title 10-Man Battle Royal. Remember when the IC title was the cooler title than the heavy weight? Shit I do… I use to backyard wrestle and could give two flying shits about any other title. The IC belt was held by the best of the best. Any way there are a whole bunch of workers in this match so allow me to run through this match fast. Drew McIntyre who hasn’t had a push in what seems like years gets eliminated immediately because he’s a jobber and cant sell a t-shirt. Heel Sin Cara the taller one runs out and yanks out baby-face Sin Cara the smaller one out of the ring and we get week two of a lucha off. Justin Gabriel and Alex Riley get eliminated by the machine Sheamus, Ezekiel Jackson tosses Daniel Bryan and John Morrison at the same time.
Do we even care for this match? NO…Ted Dibasie get tosses out by Cody Rhodes because Rhodes has more charisma in his pinky than Ted does in his who being. Jackson attempts to get rid of Cody but Rhodes is clearly going to win this. Jackson is gone. Sheamus dominates as usual an attempts the Razor’s Edge but Christian runs down to the ring distracts Sheamus, Cody avoids the Brogue Kick and use the mask as a weapon for the WIN.
Backstage has David Otunga and John Laurinaitis are talking about how Otunga might have to put that Harvard degree to good use. If my wife was Jennifer Hudson I’d play wrestling lawyer too. He reminds me of IRS and Right To Censor’s Steven Richards.
Michael Cole gave us an update on the King’s condition. Cole said King has anal bleeding? @jonconnormusic tweeted “How does one say that with a straight face”? Booker T’s reactions to anal bleeding is priceless.
Kelly Kelly and Eve vs Beth Phoenix and Natalya. Hot Eve Torres is sporting bangs and I don’t know if I like the change. Its the same match week in and week out a bunch of sweet butts jumping around. The most impressive move I have ever seen a diva do was Natalya doing this leg submission, that stretched out on Hot Eve Torres on her back. Phoenix hits Kelly Kelly from behind, with a Glam Slam for the victory.
Mark Henry destroys the Big Khali, giving him the World’s Strongest Slam. John Cena vs Christian Del Rio and Punk were on commentary for this match.
Cena’s facial expression and reaction to to HIAC reminds me of my goddaughters first experience with Christmas light. At the time she was 8 months old and was mesmerized with by the twinkle. Anyway Cena cut a quick promo in hyping up the HIAC match. The PPV poster has the tag line “John Cena goes to hell” with his face surrounded by Flocka flames. Cena gets the win over Christian, SHOCKER. Del Rio and CM Punk are commentating that’s a win huh folks. The jabs back and fourth between Punk and ADR made a shit match watchable.
WWE rewards Zack Ryder with TV time, for getting WWE more mainstream publicity. Ryder really should tweet Weapon X a thank you. Hugh Jackman made Ryder look money on last week’s show. the was a great look for both WWE and Ryder. With a Jack Swagger assist Dolph Ziggler keeps his title. AirBoom come out to help Mr WOO WOO WOO YOU KNOW IT BRO.
Otunga is backstage with Cody, Ziggler, Vicky and Christian giving them legal counseling. He cites “unsafe working conditions” if I wanted legal jargon type television I would watch Franklin and Bash on TNT starring Zack Morris…great show watch it. Honestly this has been the most interesting thing Otunga has ever done in his short wrestling career.
CM Punk vs Del Rio had a great back and forth. CM Punk coming out winner with a clean finish was a head scratcher. Meanwhile the cell comes down, Del Rio’s ringside announcer Ricardo Rodriguez is locked in with Cena and Punk. Anytime Ricardo gets TV time its awesome. CM Punk and Cena try to hit each other but Del Rio comes out of nowhere and bawse’s with a chair.
Closing thoughts: I liked the ending alot. It was great to see ADR be the aggressor, after being super Cena’d at last months PPV. This attack mby Del Rio makes him look stronger. Do I think Del Rio still needs the the strap to be over… YES. I will go into detail about the mainevent next week. As much as I clown Otunga, I want to see what goes on with this angel. If the heels strike and to a protest or some wacky shit like that I think all of the IWC (Internet Wrestling Community) will lose its shit. Its genius if you think about it.
Feed the Trolls