@TheSlyStallone A Real American Hero

Scunge back. Monday is our country (USA)’s Independence Day. And to celebrate that we here at EMILIOSPARKSDOTCOM will take a moment to celebrate an icon. An American. Fuck that…an American hero. Kids, today we examine and pay homage to the one and only Sylvester Stallone.

Our regular readers/listeners are familiar with our affinity for Sly. We model our livelihoods after the examples set forth by this film legend. This deep in, you’re probably saying to yourself “OK, gaying out to Stallone has what to do with the 4th of July?” Well I’ll tell you…

Back in the 1980s, our beloved Sylvester portrayed two American heroes that in tandem were responsible for the end of the Cold War, the retroactive victory of Vietnam, the fall of the Berlin Wall and defeat of Communist threat; those heroes are John Rambo and Rocky Balboa, respectively.

Whether it be with a mighty left hook or an explosive tipped arrow, Sly made the world safe for democracy and America. Defeating a foreign enemy and driving away the Red Scare was all in a days work. But the real victory wasn’t in how Stallone made America #1…but how he united us as a nation…and a world. “I want…what they want…for our country to love us…the way we love it…what I’m tryin to say is…if I can change…and you can change…everybody can change!”

So Sly, we salute you, we salute America, we salute barbeques. Here, and everywhere. Happy 4th everybody.

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