Ive have been asked, why is this column entitled “The Week In Wrestling” if all you cover is Monday Night RAW. My response is why watch Smackdown theres a “super show” for that. Why do I have to sit through a Wade Barrett match when I can see Mark Henry (Smackdown’s World Champion) on the RAW “super show”.
I also got an email asking why haven’t I covered TNA Impact Wrestling? My response is Id rather listen to Racks or that Tony Montana record on repeat then sit through “impact Wrestling”. Once Vice Russo, Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan get fired then Ill consider viewing that shit show.
Even WWE’s sub par story lines as of late are far more engaging than anything TNA can conger up. So with that lets start this review…
If you remember last week John Cena asked “The Great One” to be his tag partner against The Miz & R-Truth at Survivor Series. So yea RAW starts off with The Rock in a prerecorded promo. Its Dwayne, the actor who used to wrestle. Who’s part time wrestling again. Side note What the hell is The Rock on? HGH? Maybe Anadrol, Dianabol or Sustanon to bulk with Anavar or Primobolan to lean out? The villain goatee with gray hairs might foreshadow a turn maybe.
The Rock does the typical Rock stick. The people this that people that add a few candy asses and close with catchphrase. So the “People’s Champion” The Rock, John Cena’s WrestleMania XXVIII opponent will be Cena’s partner at the Survivor Series.
That is how this past Monday RAW Halloween Supershow started. O yeah The Muppets are the Guest host of RAW. Yeah I can careless about that nonsense as well.
CM Punk who is wearing the best T-shirt ever from the greatest movie B movie classic ever Big Trouble in Little China made me mark that much more. Best martial arts comedy film EVER. Jack Burton, played by Kurt Russell, was the protagonist in the film.
Punk faces World Heavyweight Champion Mark Henry in a non-title match, if Punk can defeat Henry, Punk will receive his shot for the WWE Title against Alberto Del Rio at Survivor Series.
During the match, WWE Champion Del Rio comes out with his personal ring announcer Ricardo Rodriguez, Rodriguez attacks Mark Henry with his patent leather shoe. Yeah Henry doesn’t get show weakness in a Hell In The Cell, but a shoe really does damage. Henry wins via DQ, no WWE title shot for CM. Punk loses his shit and suicide dives onto ADR, Punk tosses Ricardo to Henry.
The pig and the frog get introduced. I loose interest faster than listening to a Charles Hamilton mix tape, only to get pulled back in when out comes Swagger and Vicki. Both start to bully The Muppets, like I called last week Santino aids The Muppets in comic relief. Santino says its him vs Swagger tonight and Ziggs vs Ryder.
A Divas Costume Battle Royal is next. Remember when WWE would have these chicks strip down to almost nothing? Those were the days. Kelly Kelly is dressed as a pirate, Eve is dressed as Robin, Alicia Fox is a sailor, Rosa Mendes is a cavewoman, Aksana is Morticia Adams, A.J. is Kitana from Mortal Kombat, Kaitlyn is Dog The Bounty Hunter, The Bella Twins are Mario & Luigi, Tamina is an Egyptian Goddess, and Natalya as the Queen of Hearts.
Here is how this shit show ends. Natalya eliminates Alicia Fox, followed by Kelly Kelly. Eve catches Natalya off-guard with an elimination to become the #1 Contender for the Divas Title.
We get another Muppets segment with Dr Bunson creating an energy drink that he wanted Beaker to send to Santino. Beaker gets interrupted by Christian who is bullying Beaker. Since Sheamus is one of the main faces in WWE’s anti bullying campaign lets teach the young’s not to bully.
Sheamus told Beaker that he wouldn’t be able to make the family reunion later in the year. He then spiked Beaker’s ginger hair great usage for two upper midcarders.
Cody Rhodes and Wade Barrett defeated Air Boom via pinfall, since Wade Barrett was in this match I raided my goddaughters trick or treat goodie bag for snickers, when I returned I saw
Christian run in to attack Kofi. Sheamus makes the save could this be a survivor series multi-tag match? NOPERS Evan Bourne is suspended for 30 days he violated WWE’s wellness policy.
The amount of research I had to do to get the names of these goddamn Muppets angered me beyond belief. The old muppets are named Statler and Waldorf. They are watching the show and one of the old muppets does the Stone Cold WHAT! chant.
Punk walked into Laurenitis’ office and wanted to know if he thought that what he saw in the ring was fair and impartial. Laurenitis said that Punk was still allowed his match at Survivor Series so long as Del Rio agreed to give him one.
So now its The Big Show vs Alberto Del Rio the silence during the match spoke volumes. This match felt like it went on forever. Del Rio tired to do something un heard of wrestle and make the Big Show look decent. ADR really carried this whole match, ADR attempted a rope assisted enziguri but was hit with Big Show’s knockout punch mid-air. Thank you WWE creative for killing ADR’s heat?
Post-match CM Punk arrived and grabbed the mic and a bottle of water. Punk sits Indian style poured the water on Del Rio’s face and told he was going to lock him in the anaconda F’N vice until Del Rio agreed to give him the title shot. Clearly we get a yes.
The storytelling between Punk and ADR has been strong. Is Punk back in his anti-hero tweener role? lets hope so the photo above angers me.
We get another Muppet segment with Gonzo and Fonzy, Cue Swagger and Ziggler who stretched out his arms and tied them around his face. Swagger and Ziggs are the reason a fuck has been given with these Muppet segments.
Can someone explain to me how Santino still has a job? His matches aren’t amusing with out Vladimir Kozlov as his comedic foil his segments fell weak. Why is he still employed. Shit rehire the Boogeyman at least his entrance was cool. Santino beats a former world champion with a spit take. OK where is the Ziggs/Ryder match.
Next match was Ziggs vs Ryder. MATCH OF THE NIGHT!!!! The crowd was into this match the entire time. The pop for Ryder on the first pin was crazy. Real talk this feud has been great. Ziggler and Ryder really need to continue this run. I need to see it given the whole shebang. This should lead to an eventual US Champion title reign for Zack. Then elevate Ziggs to main-event so he can go after Punk, if and when Punk gets the belt back.
Cody Rhodes really does own, The only segment I liked with The Muppets involved Rhodes placing a paper bag on Kermit the Frogs head. He says nothing yet owned. Let that boy cook.
The Miz vs Cena, what can I say we been down this road the match wasn’t to bad but it was the typical Cena match. I wont even make mention for R-truth’s interference wearing a Scream costume. It didn’t add anything to the finish Miz couldn’t get the W, I get it were selling soap, this match is on The Rock’s return without establishing a must see match. We all know there’s no way Rock and Cena will lose.
Closing thoughts: The show felt like a repeat, haven’t we seen this all before? With all this Muppet madness you forget Hunter and Kevin Nash even have a feud. With Hunter being out Now what? Do we care? How many times can they Jump start this old man beef?
Besides the the Ziggler/Ryder match what really caught your interest. Before you say Dwayne’s promo re watch it and tweet me your thoughts. That shit was a yawn fest. WWE how are you going to make Cena/Rock vs. Miz/Truth interesting? Awesome Truth is not a threat to Cena nor The Rock.
The only outcome I see really working is Cena turning heel. A Cena turn depends on WWE’s faith that Punk to carry RAW. Real talk, it’s not going to happen. The fan’s had a brief taste but WWE got cold feet. Maybe things will be different but who knows. The three-hour RAW later this month better establish the tension between Rock and Cena, Build more heat between Del Rio and Punk and really set the tone for Nash vs Hunter.
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